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Abstract:

The article examines the self-awareness in the personal diary of Z.N. Gippius, “Contes d’amour. Diary of Love Stories (1893–1904)”. Drawing on the research of M.M. Bakhtin, the author considers the diarist of the modernist era as a ‘subject of consciousness and dreams’. It is shown that the self-awareness of the subject, the emotional and spiritual center of the inner world, as well as her dreams, as forms of expressing the striving for the ideal, are characterised by a high degree of antinomicity. Gippius’s way of thinking via antinomies revealed a flexible integrative strategy that enabled her to comprehend the nature of her own personality through a set of irresolvable internal contradictions. Her exceptional attention to the theme of love — a multifaceted process that constantly reshapes the perception of reality — turns “Contes d’amour” into a unique experiment. Shar- ing the idea of metaphysical love, capable of embracing the spiritual and physical in a single process of restoring the divine principle in man, Gippius actualised the theurgical concept of life-creation/life-transformation on ideal spiritual grounds. In an attempt to build relationships with F. Chervinsky and N. Minsky in line with the idea of metaphysical love, she used scenarios — an artificially created scheme that was repeatedly used in communication with other confidants as well. Overall, “Contes d’amour” became a tool for self-exploration and self-construction for Gip- pius, where the dynamic, ambiguous authorial “I” is revealed from various angles.